BREAKING: AFL Issues Statement Declaring SANFL Grand Final “Fake News”
The AFL has today issued a statement declaring that reports of 38,340 South Australians attending a game of non-AFL football at Adelaide Oval yesterday are fake news. "It wasn't AFL, and there's no such sport as SANFL, so I don't see what they could…
AFL Journalists Take Out All Awards At Awards Night Dedicated To AFL Journalists
The results follow a rigorous judging process in which the committee, made up entirely of AFL Sycophantic Journalists, assessed the entries, submitted by AFL Sycophantic Journalists, before announcing the winners, who were all AFL Sycophantic Journalists.
Matthew Nicks Awarded Gaslighter Of The Year Award 2026
"We're building something really special," Nicks said, of a team that had, ninety minutes earlier, put on a display about as far away from special as the north pole is from the south. He described the group as "heading in the right direction," by which…
NFL Fans Shatter Melbourne’s Image Of Itself As An International City
The residents of Melbourne like to unironically put their city in the same conversation as Tokyo, New York and London. No-one else in Australia buys that rubbish, and their scepticism has been confirmed this week.
Match Preview: Whole City Faces Off Against Tiny Suburb
Tonight at Adelaide Oval, a city of 1.5 million people will contest a knockout final against a Melbourne suburb best known for a Bunnings and a tram terminus.
AFL Reminds fans: Wildcard Is About Making Money
Andrew Dillon has today questioned the intelligence of Australian Football fans in response to backlash around the Wildcard Round. "Really, are they stupid? Are they new to capitalism? The Wildcard games pocketed us millions. As if we'd cancel them just…
AFL Media Calls For Adelaide To Lose Its License Over Something Made Up. Again.
It’s AFL finals time and, predictably enough, given that the Adelaide Football Club are looking the slightest bit threatening, the media pile-on has begun. Sexual assault and forced concussion waivers are a thing of the past because, ** checks…
Adelaide Makes Fans Responsible For its Performance With New ‘All Of Us’ Campaign
According to the Adelaide Football Club, it takes all of us. To do what, they've not specified. One assumes they mean to win, ultimately, a premiership. This new campaign, launched ahead of the 2026 finals series, has struck some fans as mildly passive…
Nicks Reckons Blokes Who Can’t Play A Full Season Will Be Fine With Two Extra Finals
The club’s rotation policy came under renewed scrutiny this week after retiring star forward Taylor Walker was rested for a second time in a month. A spokesperson for club called the decision to take Walker to Perth but not play him as,…
Australian Football Fan Outside Victoria Shocked To Learn Their Local League Is ‘Interstate’, Even To Them
When I leave Victoria to go to South Australia I'm going interstate but when I leave South Australia to go to Victoria am I going home? Even though I live in Adelaide? It's all messed up.